100 Reasons You're With the Man You Didn't Want

100 Reasons You're With the Man You Didn't Want (But Somehow He's Still Hanging Around)

1. He’s a Human ATM – Because who doesn’t love someone who’ll always pay for dinner?

2. You Lost a Bet – And now you’re stuck with him until the terms of the wager run out.

3. He Owns a Car – You didn’t want to go there, but now you’re "dating" him just for the rides.

4. He Knows How to Use Google – You need answers, and he’s there... whether he likes it or not.

5. His Wi-Fi Is Better Than Yours – You've "accidentally" been hanging out at his place for hours, and he hasn’t noticed.

6. He Thinks You’re "Cute" When You Do Absolutely Nothing – And that’s just convenient.

7. He Has Snacks – You don’t really care about him, but those chips are calling your name.

8. He’s Your Human GPS – You can't even find the grocery store without him. This is fine.

9. You’re Too Tired to Say No – Honestly, it was easier to just go with the flow than explain why not.

10. He’s Good at Fixing Things – You needed a bookshelf fixed, and now he’s just been "fixed" into your life.

11. His Netflix Account Works – You’d be rude to not take advantage of his subscription.

12. He Doesn’t Complain About Your Mess – His tolerance for clutter is disturbingly high.

13. You Like That He’s So Easily Impressed – Everything you do is "amazing" to him. It’s like having a fan club.

14. He Keeps Offering You Food You Didn’t Ask For – You’re not hungry, but you’ll definitely eat that pizza he bought.

15. His Friends Don’t Talk to You – Honestly, you’d rather not deal with his circle of dudes, but hey, less stress for you.

16. He Doesn’t Expect You to Cook – Why bother when he’s willing to let you order in every night?

17. He’s the Human Equivalent of a Teddy Bear – Too soft to be a threat, so you keep him around for comfort.

18. He Thinks He’s Good at Giving Compliments – You’ve trained him well to say exactly what you want to hear.

19. He Actually Believes That You Like His Playlist – The fact that you pretend to like it just makes your job easier.

20. You Can Watch Whatever You Want – Because somehow he’ll still be amazed by the "thrilling" plot twists of reality TV.

21. He Makes You Feel Like the Star of His Life – It's fun to be worshipped without actually doing anything.

22. He’s Constantly Trying to Impress You – And it’s honestly endearing, even though you’re not really impressed.

23. He Thinks You’re "Funny" – You’re not sure why, but it’s a nice ego boost.

24. He Does All the Heavy Lifting – You never realized how much you could get out of a man who moves all the furniture.

25. He Thinks You’re "Low Maintenance" – That’s a win for you because it means less effort on your part.

26. He Doesn't Realize You're Using Him for Free Meals – He thinks it’s "just a date," but really, it's a food delivery service.

27. He Does All the Chores Without Asking – You tell him what needs to be done, and he gets to it without hesitation. Lucky you.

28. He’s Your Free Therapist – You don’t have to pay for a session, and he’s always there to listen to you vent.

29. He Doesn't Mind When You Steal His Clothes – You look better in his hoodie anyway, and he never notices.

30. You Didn’t Want to Date Him, But Now He’s Your Backup Plan – Just in case the next guy doesn’t work out, he’s "there."

31. He’s Always Available – You’re not sure why, but he’s always up for whatever you need, whenever you need it.

32. He Keeps Buying You Gifts You Don’t Ask For – And you definitely didn’t tell him it’s your birthday... but, sure, keep the presents coming.

33. He Takes Care of All the Tech Problems – Your Wi-Fi's down? Call him. He’s got it covered.

34. You Got Lazy and Stopped Looking for Someone Better – He's here, he's doing his thing, and it's "fine" for now.

35. He’ll Do Anything for a Compliment – And you give him just enough praise to keep him around.

36. You Don’t Have to Talk About Feelings – He thinks everything is going "great," which is easier for you than confronting the truth.

37. He Doesn’t Question Why You "Borrow" His Stuff – You’re not stealing; you’re just... temporarily using things. For an indefinite amount of time.

38. He Thinks He’s the Best Kisser – You’ve never told him the truth, and you’ll keep it that way.

39. You Use Him for the Free Wi-Fi at His Place – Because let’s be real, your data plan is not cutting it.

40. You Keep Him Around for the Emergency "Plus-One" – If someone invites you to a party, he’s the perfect filler.

41. He’s Actually Really Good at Carrying All Your Bags – Your shopping sprees are way easier when someone else does the heavy lifting.

42. He’s Always Offering to "Help" – He thinks it’s charming, and you get things done without lifting a finger.

43. You Enjoy Watching Him Try to Impress You – It's like a live comedy show every time he talks about his "amazing" new skill.

44. He’s Great at Finding Lost Items – Mainly because he’s not looking for anything else in his life.

45. He Thinks You’re the Best at Everything – And that’s great for your ego but probably not for his self-esteem.

46. You Can Make Him Do Anything Without Asking – He’ll take out the trash, clean the car, whatever, without you even having to say much.

47. You’re Just Too Lazy to Break Up With Him – It's easier to just go with it for now than face the drama of ending it.

48. He Still Thinks Your "I’m Fine" Means "I’m Fine" – Which is adorable, considering he’s always wrong.

49. You Don't Have to Explain Why You Like Him – Honestly, you’re not sure, but he’s easy to keep around.

50. He Thinks You Love Watching Sports with Him – You just want to be on your phone, but hey, it’s cute when he gets excited.

51. He Doesn’t Mind If You "Accidentally" Ignore His Calls – It’s not personal, but you just didn’t feel like talking.

52. He Lets You Pick the Restaurant Every Time – Because you're "indecisive" and he wants to please you.

53. He’s Your "Go-To" for Pet-Sitting – He doesn’t have a pet, but he's more than willing to look after yours. You know, for a few bucks.

54. He’s Fine With Being Your Personal "Bodyguard" – Even when you’re not in danger, he’s standing there... just in case.

55. He Thinks You're "Low Maintenance" – No, you just don’t want to tell him how little you actually care.

56. You’ve Trained Him to Be a Human Post-It Note – He’ll remember everything for you, and you don’t have to worry about it.

57. He Doesn't Mind Watching Your Favorite Movies Over and Over – He’s convinced he loves them, but you know the truth.

58. You Use Him for Free Netflix Binge-Watching – His account? Your new best friend.

59. He’s Conveniently There When You Need a Shoulder to Cry On – And he’ll never know you’re just crying because you’re bored.

60. You Only Keep Him Around for the Convenience of Having a Backup – Just in case your real love interest doesn’t show up.

61. You’ve Got Him Wrapped Around Your Finger – And you like it that way.

62. He Doesn’t Notice When You "Borrow" His Stuff Forever – It’s not stealing if you eventually give it back... maybe.

63. You Gave Him "The Talk" But He Didn't Get the Hint – Oh well, you’ll keep him around for a little longer.

64. You’re Too Tired to Tell Him You’re Not Interested – It’s easier to just keep going with the flow.

65. He Doesn’t Know How to Say No to You – Which is convenient because now you don’t have to ask twice.

66. He Thinks He’s the Best Gift-Giver – You never wanted any of the stuff he buys, but it’s always a nice surprise.

67. He Keeps Offering to Help, Even When You Don't Need It – He's just that easy to manipulate.

68. You Keep Him Around for the Emotional Support – Even if that support just involves him listening to you vent while you’re on your phone.

69. He Lets You Win Arguments – Even when you know he’s right, it’s nice to be the one who’s "right" for once. 

70. He Doesn’t Care if You Forget Important Dates – He’ll just remind you, and somehow you still get credit for remembering.

71. He Thinks He’s "The One" – You’ve never told him otherwise, and you enjoy the illusion.

72. You’ve Got Him Perfectly Trained – He brings you coffee exactly the way you like it every morning, and he doesn’t even question it.

73. He Calls You "Babe" and You Cringe, But It’s Cute – It’s endearing, but also reminds you of your actual preferences... which he doesn't know.

74. He’s Your Personal Chauffeur – He'll drive you everywhere, even though you totally have your own car. But hey, it’s nice to be chauffeured.

75. He Always Thinks You’re Right – It’s not about being right; it’s about him believing you’re always right. It’s a win for your ego.

76. He’s Your Personal "Fixer" – Something's broken? He’ll figure it out, even if it’s not really a priority for you.

77. You Pretend to Like His Hobbies – You have no idea what he's talking about, but you nod along for the sake of peace.

78. He Thinks You’re the Best Cook – You microwave everything, but he’s just grateful for whatever’s on his plate.

79. He Believes You When You Say "It’s Fine" – That’s the magic of a man who’s oblivious to the truth.

80. You Use Him as a Stress-Reliever – He’s there for the random outbursts of stress, and he’s learned to just nod and listen.

81. He Always Brings You Flowers – Not because you asked, but because he’s trying way too hard to impress you.

82. You Enjoy His Compliments More Than You Should – He calls you "beautiful" and you secretly love it, even if you’re just sitting in your sweatpants.

83. You Like That He Doesn’t Have High Expectations – He thinks he’s lucky to be with you, so you don’t have to worry about him asking for anything more.

84. He Wants to Take You to "Fancy" Places – You’d rather chill at home, but you’ve learned to appreciate the free meals and drinks.

85. He Doesn’t Know You’re Only In It For the Validation – He keeps telling you how amazing you are, and you keep nodding along while enjoying the attention.

86. You Secretly Enjoy Making Him Jealous (Even Though He’s Clueless) – You’re not really trying to hurt him, but you love watching him squirm when you mention other guys.

87. You’re His "Improvement Project" – He’s convinced you’ll fall for him once he "fixes" all the things he thinks need fixing.

88. He Doesn’t Complain When You Ghost Him for Days – He’ll keep coming back for more, no matter how much you ignore him.

89. He Loves Your "Quirks" That Are Actually Just Your Bad Habits – You chew loudly, take forever to get ready, and can’t keep track of your stuff, but he loves it all. Poor guy.

90. You Don’t Have to Explain Your "Mood Swings" – He thinks everything is okay, even when it’s not.

91. He Wants to "Rescue" You – He’s under the false impression that you need saving, so he’s always jumping in with unsolicited advice.

92. You Can Ignore Him Without Repercussions – You’ve gotten so good at tuning him out that he thinks you’re "just having an off day."

93. He Doesn’t Know How to Say "No" to You – Which means you can get away with pretty much anything.

94. You Like That He’s a Little Clueless – It's easier to control the situation when he's not aware of what's going on.

95. He Thinks He’s Got the "Secret" to Winning You Over – His "romantic gestures" are always something you could easily do yourself, but you don’t mind.

96. He Thinks He’s Your "Savior" – You’re too busy to care, but hey, he feels like the knight in shining armor.

97. He Thinks You’re "Just Being Humble" When You Tell Him You’re Not That Great – He hasn’t figured out that you’re not really that into him, but he’s trying.

98. He’s Fine With Being the "Backup" – In case you need someone to watch movies with, or just need a last-minute date.

99. You’re His Dream Girl, Even If You Aren’t Really Trying – The more you’re not interested, the harder he works. It's adorable (and kind of exhausting).

100. He’s Just So Damn Convenient – You don’t really want him, but he’s always there, and it’s just easier to let him stay than explain why not.